heart-wrenching & emotionally exhausting.

for the past 2 days, we have been participating in an hiv/aids awareness seminar. i've learned a lot, and met some awesome people that are living out God's heart for the sick. but nothing compares with what we did today.

in reality, it was nothing that special. we went to someone's house. we sat on their bed. we had chai. we bobbed our heads a bit and smiled while everyone else spoke hindi. we went to another family's house and repeated the same thing. that kind of thing is standard in india.

what was unique about these families is they are living with hiv.

the first was a mother still in her 20's with two little boys (around 6 and 8 years old). she was gorgeous. but she was really thin, had circles beneath her eyes, and showed us a glimpse of a skin infection on her legs. she was so proud to show off the pictures of her boys: her two sons (who were in school at the time), and her husband, who had inevitably lost his battle to aids 2 years ago. we prayed for her, her family, her health.

and as soon as we left her house, i let the tears flow. thinking about this woman, who had just lost her husband at such a young age to a vicious, uncurable virus that will also take her life in a few years at most. thinking about those kids, who will eventually be orphans. my. heart. broke.

for the next hour in the car, i had to keep repeating these mantras to myself, to remind myself:

there is hope in jesus. there is hope in jesus. there is hope in jesus.

there is life in jesus. there is life in jesus. there is life in jesus.

and i know that's true. in the face of pain and suffering, i NEED this to be true.

i'm so glad we got to have this experience today, although it is one of those pesky kinds of knowledge that refuses to stay confined in the head, but moves to the heart, and completely wrenches it. these people are beautiful. they need love (don't we all?). and it was an honor (though emotionally exhausting) to meet them.